How The Stoic Mindset Is The Key To Success In Life
Stoic Wisdom For Surviving And Thriving In Good Or Bad Times
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“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” ― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
In a world where everything seems like it’s spinning out of control, we already possess the means to solve most of our problems.
We have our mind and our will to do and be something truly remarkable. That is the Stoic wisdom penned by the philosopher-emperor Marcus Aurelius around 180 AD.
This is the kind of wisdom we need today. Besides death, perhaps the worst thing about COVID-19 and other big crises is that things will never be the same again. Whatever life we had before this global plague is now gone.
The unique pairing of Stoicism and CBT exercises is perfect for getting through just about anything.
For many, the new normal has yet to be comfortable or accepted. Though we’re in the throes of a speedy recovery, it’s hard to stay positive about the future.
And yet staying positive and working through this is exactly what we must do.
We all have challenges ahead of us that we simply cannot ignore. The success stories of this era are from the people who have adopted the right mindset to move beyond mere survival mode. In fact, they are safe and flourishing. They have turned failure into triumph.
So where do we begin the ascent? How do we get back on top of things and improve our lives?
Moving forward, a deep-rooted change must happen. Whether your life needs a complete turn-around or just a minor readjustment, the key to your success relies on establishing a core philosophy. So while people have differing opinions on what success is, the how part is a simple process.
To be successful, you have to get three things right:
- Mindset: You must adopt the right mindset. That is, you have to emulate the mindset and coping mechanisms of anyone who achieved what you want to do. Your mind must be open and adaptable to change. Wildly successful people and clinical psychologists like Dr. Steve Orma will tell you that at a certain point, 90% of their success is due to their mindset.
- Strategy: You must have a good strategy. There are many roads to Rome. The hard part is finding which one is best for you and then following it every step of the way. Of course, some strategies are better than others. However, there’s no need to reinvent the wheel where success has already been achieved.
- Execution: You must execute relentlessly until you achieve your goal. Most people give up too easily. They have a good plan of attack, but they get discouraged by minor setbacks. This isn’t a strategy problem, it’s a mindset and execution problem. Sometimes even when you are in doubt, you just have to keep going and things end up working out.
The richest man in the world, Jeff Bezos, founded amazon.com and registered that domain in July of 1994. A quarter-century later his company is valued at over a trillion dollars. Along the way Bezos has made countless mistakes, but he endured. What people might not know is that two months before he registered Amazon, he secured the website relentless.com. That site redirects to amazon.com and it shows just how committed he was to executing on his dream e-commerce company.
On the surface, it sounds like being able to stick with things and execute well is the key to success. However, it’s really mindset that will cause the domino effect of success.
Mindset directly effects every outcome. We can see this in action right now as COVID-19 starts to pull back and the rubble from its destruction lays bare. We are still in the free-fall of a world crisis. People are jobless and some are homeless. Add to this, we’re seeing countless riots, natural disasters, and famine.
It feels like the world is coming to an end.
And yet as mentioned, some people have managed to pick themselves back up and thrive during this dark time. Though they still have a long ways to go, their mind is set right and every day they are taking care of business without complaint. In fact, the COVID-19 after-effects have only strengthened their resolve.
One philosophy behind this type of mindset is found in ancient Stoicism, which was developed by Zeno of Citium around 300 BC. For a while, it was all but forgotten. However, in the last few years there has been a revival of Stoicism thanks to influential people like Tim Ferriss and Ryan Holiday. They have shown that in general and even in desperate times, it’s an incredibly useful philosophy to adopt.
Stoicism scholars today do have their favorite ancient philosophers. Tim Ferriss and Massimo Pigliucci are quite fond of quoting Seneca. Jules Evans said that Epictetus’s Discourses helped him overcome his emotional problems more than any other book of philosophy. Ryan Holiday and Donald Robertson are decidedly huge fans of Marcus Aurelius.
While Seneca and Epictetus have more content to work with, there is far more information on Marcus Aurelius since he was a public figure and one of Rome’s greatest emperors. In the world of modern Stoicism, few people know more about Marcus Aurelius than Donald Robertson. His books and courses take you from covering the basics to college graduate-level information.
I was first introduced to Robertson’s work when I was reading Jules Evans’ book Philosophy For Life And Other Dangerous Situations. Evans candidly tells the story of how he had suffered from unbearable bouts of mood swings, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. He was advised to utilize techniques from a school of psychology called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help him overcome these ailments. CBT originated from two therapists who were quite fond of Stoicism. Evans learned that the foremost expert on the roots of CBT was Donald Robertson who has published extensively on this subject.
The unique pairing of Stoicism and CBT exercises is perfect for getting through just about anything. Stoicism represents a broad philosophy and mindset to work through common problems. CBT represents the application of specific exercises at a local/personal level to achieve tangible results.
While many people mistake classic Stoicism to be the philosophy of having a stiff upper lip and being unemotional, these connotations are simply wrong. I’m reminded of Robertson’s clarification in his seminal book How To Think Like A Roman Emperor:
[Stoics] distinguished between three types of emotion: good, bad, and indifferent. They had names for many different types of good passion (eupatheiai), a term encompassing both desires and emotions, which they grouped under three broad headings:
1. A profound sense of joy or gladness and peace of mind, which comes from living with wisdom and virtue.
2. A healthy feeling of aversion to vice, like a sense of conscience, honor, dignity, or integrity.
3. The desire to help both ourselves and others, through friendship, kindness, and goodwill.
They also believed that we have many irrational desires and emotions, like fear, anger, craving, and certain forms of pleasure that are bad for us. Stoics did not believe that unhealthy emotions should be suppressed; rather, they should be replaced by healthy ones.
You can see now how having a Stoic mindset would be incredibly advantageous, especially during a crisis.
Enduring Dilemmas
In times like these, it’s easy to lapse into negative thinking especially if you catch the news. Headlines designed to grab your attention and lead you down a never-ending spiral of what-ifs isn’t exactly calming. The more people see it, the more they worry — and that worry can turn into anxiety that becomes debilitating.
Stoic Lesson #1: Dealing With Worry & Anxiety
According to one study by the American Medical Association, 39% of participants said that COVID-19 was taking a toll on their mental health. In addition, a study at Mental Health America revealed that over 169,243 people have shown moderate to severe depression or anxiety since the pandemic started. The buzz about the pandemic was starting to leave a strong impression.
Whether it’s because of the news or something else, our minds wander with information and sometimes it’s not to the healthy places. The best thing to do is to deconstruct what triggers all of this after an event has occurred.
Let’s say that life often follows a linear process:
Events > Thoughts > Feelings > Actions > Results.
Information is often communicated between events and thoughts. At this juncture, you can choose between two kinds of mindsets. The first one is of scarcity. A scarcity mindset is one of pessimism, victimhood, and decline. Or you can decide to choose abundance. An abundant mindset will lead you to optimism, charisma, and growth.
Regarding worry and anxiety, a scarcity mindset might arise in thinking about how you’re going to make more money, sustain your lifestyle, and retire on time. Maybe bills and debt are stacking up. For many, COVID-19 created a huge financial setback. It feels utterly defeating. Our thoughts turn sour and we might begin to break down: where will the money come from? This might create inaction (simply giving up), or relying on government hand-outs for too long. The result is staying financially vulnerable and becoming more depressed than ever.
This is where Stoicism can offer a great abundance mindset.
As many Stoics stress, don’t let your thoughts be consumed with what you cannot control. Robertson reminds us of this in his course Marcus Aurelius: Life and Stoicism where he quotes the philosopher-emperor. “The universe is change: life is opinion.” This echoes the sentiment of Epictetus when he writes that happiness is achieved by acknowledging that “some things are in our control and others not.” The external world’s actions are completely out of your control, but your actions and thoughts/opinions are completely in your control.
Studies in modern psychology back this notion of managing our happiness based on the idea of control. Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky claims that a full 50% of your happiness is completely in your control.
The way the “happiness pie” is broken up goes like this. Genetics account for 50% of your happiness. Some people are just born with big brains or athletic bodies. Those are key advantages in life and you don’t control. Life circumstances make up another 10% of what you can’t control in the beginning, but you can later in life. If your parents are rich and live in a first-world country, I say you have a huge advantage over many. However, some people have options and they can change their circumstances. Lastly, your intentional activities make up the final 40% of what can make you happier.
You decide to study, work, invent, and create. This theory of happiness meshes well with the Stoic mindset because there is an existential element.
Stoicism isn’t a passive philosophy. As Professor Massimo Pigliucci says, “Stoicism is roughly one part theory and nine parts practice”. Stoics are big on fate, but you also make your luck. Bad circumstances don’t have to hold you back. For example, there are numerous businesses created during a time that people thought was the worse time ever: a recession. These companies include Disney, Microsoft, Netflix, General Electric, and Sports Illustrated to name just a few.
To become successful in business and life, you must make sacrifices and take control to achieve eventual success. Worrying about a massive recent setback or what the uncertain future might bring won’t help. Taking action to recover and improve day by day will. In the manner of Stoicism, a common sentiment might be:
Hoping for the best, prepared for the worst, and unsurprised by anything in between. — Maya Angelou
Or as they say in Latin,
Si vis pacem, para bellum. (“If you want peace, prepare for war.”)
Things outside of these mantras are just roads to needless worrying and anxiety. The Stoic hero constantly trains for the inner and outer war being fought every day.
Stoic Lesson #2: Dealing With Anger & Empathy
There have been times in my youth when I felt so helpless, that instead of trying to figure things out I just got angry and took it out on others. I’ve blamed friends. I’ve blamed my parents. I’ve even blamed the economy. However, the truth is in most cases I was the only one who was to blame. No one said life was fair.
Just look at the blame game playing out in the media. China’s involvement in COVID-19 seemed to be a tipping point. In a recent Pew Research Center study, most U.S. adults say they have an unfavorable view of China.
A scarcity mindset backed by anger and fear could lead me to boycott all Chinese goods. I could decide to not patronize Chinese restaurants in my area too. Unfortunately, I’m in love with products from Apple, Nike, Levi’s, and Fender: all of which are made in China. And banning Chinese food is surely a travesty! It sounds racist to hate a country for the reasons the media comes up with.
Robertson reminds us that “no man does evil knowingly, which also entails that no man does it willingly”. China’s response to finding out about COVID-19 and suppressing the spread was sloppy. However, in doing so they killed a lot of their own people. Also, it’s hard to believe that they knowingly destroyed every economy in the world. As Robertson points out:
“In The Meditations, Marcus Aurelius says you should view others’ actions in terms of a simple dichotomy: either they are doing what is right or doing what is wrong. If they are doing what is right, then you should accept it and cease to be annoyed with them. Let go of your anger and learn from them. However, if they are doing what is wrong, then you should assume it’s because they don’t know any better.”
I can’t be angry with the common Chinese person. They’re just like me. However, I can question how their government officials handled the spread of COVID-19. I can look into what I can do as a citizen. Maybe that comes in the form of teaming up with others to support relevant legislature or policies so this never happens again. I don’t know, but I do know getting angry at the majority of Chinese people will do more harm than good.
That’s an account of being angry with someone far away, but what about localized anger?
The anger many of us have over what has happened in this world has lead to misguided local and nation riots instead of peaceful protesting. Anger has physically manifested in anarchists attempting to destroy historical buildings and statues. Several people have been shot. I live in Portland, Oregon and I can tell you that after 100+ consecutive days of protests, it’s no longer just about George Floyd’s death and police brutality.
People here are angry about a lot of things and they don’t know how to deal with it in a civilized manner. In this case, someone has to lead them to a better mindset asap because their negative thoughts are consuming them.
This is why looking at anger and empathy together is crucial, which is how a Stoic would do things.
Portland protesters feel like they’re misunderstood by their local government and police force. Of the hundreds (sometimes thousands) of people crusading for the cause, only a few protesters are causing the riots. Most people are gathering downtown to make a peaceful point about their version of social justice. It’s a complicated issue for which I’m not qualified to provide solutions for, but clearly the local government has not improved the situation because the violence endures night after night. It would help to think more like Marcus Aurelius in this regard:
“Accustom yourself to attend carefully to what is said by another, and as much as it is possible, be in the speaker’s mind.” [emphasis mine]
In Portland, it has been a rare occurrence that tribal leaders have sat down in the same room to discuss, bargain, and negotiate what each party needs. There has just been a lot of shouting, speeches, and fighting in the streets. Both parties are guilty of not empathizing. One thinks the other is wrong and vice versa — and so the circle of misunderstanding goes. Business and lives have been destroyed over this.
Again, a lot has been done to bring Portland’s complex, multi-dimensional issues to an end. However, I believe the root of the problem is not having the right framework to curb the anger and improve mutual empathy. Without first adopting the right mindset that these two forces can come to an agreement, the negative feelings (anger) will take over and continue to be expressed with the wrong kind of action (violence). That’s a result few local Portlanders want. The issues here are solvable and we can overcome them, but in a haze of anger few protesters have that mindset.
[As a side note for protesters feeling out of touch, Robertson offers several highly-effective CBT tactics to curb the “automatic anger” some people experience. These tactics include self-monitoring, cognitive distancing, postponement, modeling virtue, and functional analysis. All of these are expanded upon on in his Marcus Aurelius course and book.]
Stoic Lesson #3: Mortality & Loss
As I write this, there are 33,903,505 cases and over one million deaths from COVID-19 worldwide. That’s a lot. Many people know someone close who has died of this insidious virus. However, the Antonine Plague (165 AD to 180 AD) killed over five million people including the emperor Marcus Aurelius who is the plague’s namesake. All deaths are a tragedy, but I’m just trying to put things in perspective here. Marcus was a leader who dealt with pestilence on a massive scale without many of the conveniences and technologies we have today.
He accepted life and death with Stoic level-headedness with this advice to himself:
Don’t despise death; but receive it well-pleas’d; as it is one of the things which nature wills. For such as it is to be young, to be old, to grow up, to be full grown . . . undergo the other natural effects which the seasons of your life produce; such is it also to be dissolved. It becomes a man of wisdom neither to be inconsiderate, impetuous, or ostentatiously contemptuous about death; but await the season of it, as of one of the operations of nature. (Meditations, Book IX)
To Marcus, death was the inevitable natural process of nature. This is something out of your control, so why not accept it and live graciously? I find this quote optimistic and inspiring, despite its objective tone. People who dismiss his wisdom often misinterpret him. There is a lot of focus on death in Meditations. To the negative mindset, this comes off as pessimistic and cynical.
For example, in Book II Marcus tells us what he is thinking every morning. Being reminded that you’ll be greeted with the possibility of death, deceitful people, and injustice is not the best way to start your day. But that’s exactly how Marcus saw things. Again, he hoped for the best and prepared for the worse. Does it really matter what order he did these things in?
Also, it’s through knowing that one day all of this will go away that you seize the day every day. Marcus has this great line in Book IV of Meditations:
Do not act as if you were going to live ten thousand years. Death hangs over you. While you live, while it is in your power, be good.
And by good, he meant virtuous. Be kind to others and to yourself. Seize the day by not wasting it. One thing I’ve found incredibly useful for appreciating my life and being grateful for the things I have is by meditating on it all. To this, Donald Robertson offers an incredible guided meditation in his course called The View From Above. Through disassociation, he guides you through a gentle exercise that leaves you feeling relaxed and at peace with everything. One interesting line in this meditation deeply resonated with me:
Contemplating the vast lifespan of the universe, remember that the present moment is but the briefest of instants . . . The mere blink of an eye . . . The turn of a screw . . . A fleeting second in the mighty river of cosmic time . . . Yet the “here and now” is important . . . Standing as the center point of all human experience … Here and now you find yourself at the center of living time . . . Though your body may be small in the grand scheme of things, your imagination, the human imagination, is as big as the universe . . . Bigger than the universe . . . Enveloping everything that can be conceived . . . From the cosmic point of view, your body seems small, but your imagination seems utterly vast.
If this is modern Stoicism, sign me up! In a way, Robertson has found a way to merge the best parts of Stoicism with the creativity of positive psychology techniques. Upon reviewing feedback from students and patients of Robertson, these kinds of exercises have formed life-changing results.
If you can achieve this kind of peace and resolve in the core of your being, your life will have the Midas touch. This grounded and abundant mindset will directly affect your career, finances, and relationships so you might truly live a happy life.
The Way Forward And Recommendations
As we have learned, to get on the right track to achieve success and happiness, we have to activate three sequential phases: Mindset, Strategy, and Execution.
We should start by creating an abundant mindset by instilling the same strategies that the emperor Marcus Aurelius used nearly two thousand years ago. In conjunction with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, the Stoic way of life is a proven way to create positive change in our lives.
So how do you get started or advance your knowledge about Stoicism?
What I’ve seen over the years in the Stoic community is quite remarkable. There are numerous ways to align with like-minded people on or offline. These social groups have decided to thrive together by creating spaces where they can share their wisdom, encouragement, and a few laughs. Below are a few recommendations for anyone interested in learning more. There are thousands of resources, but I’ve decided to list my top picks for each category.
Must-Have Books On Ancient Stoicism
- Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
- Enchiridion by Epictetus
- Letters from a Stoic by Seneca
Events
- Stoicon is a day where thousands of people come together. This year is a virtual conference that will be packed with exciting speakers and activities. The cost for the event is a donation amount of your choosing. Pay what you think it’s worth. Last year’s event cost $105 per attendee.
- International Stoic Week was said to be “7 days of bliss and learning” from one attendee.
- TheStoa.ca lists many virtual and live events around Stoic topics.
The Premier Course On Stoicism
Marcus Aurelius: Life and Stoicism — If you take only one course on Stoicism, this should be it. The instructor, Donald Robertson, seems to be at the center of all things Stoic and he’s a gifted educator. The course is rich in history and practical Stoic wisdom. The themed 4-week course has a hefty prep week before things kick-off. Each lesson is delivered through a variety of formats (video, audio, text, infographics, illustrations, full-length ebooks, etc).
The course is perfect for understanding Stoic principles through the lens of Marcus Aurelius. If you want more, some optional lessons have grad level material. Robertson’s famous guided meditations and exercises are a part of this course. Many lessons encourage discussions within the platform, and the private Facebook is worth the price of the course alone. There you will find a diverse group of like-minded people sharing their thoughts on how Stoicism has helped them reach greater success and happiness.
Must-Have Books on Modern Stoicism
- How To Think Like A Roman Emperor by Donald Robertson — Hands down, the best book on applying Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations to work. It is written by a renowned Cognitive Behavioral Therapist and Stoicism expert.
- Philosophy For Life And Other Dangerous Situations by Jules Evans — This is in my top 3 of the most useful philosophy books I’ve ever read. Its honesty and practicality are remarkable by every measure.
- A Handbook For New Stoics by Massimo Pigliucci — This is a fantastic 52-week guide to mastering Stoic principles. Fifty percent of the weeks’ exercises are inspired by the great works of Seneca.
- The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday — This is one of the best-selling books on Stoicism ever. Holiday is great at connecting modern history with the lessons from ancient Stoics.
To learn more about the empowering philosophy of Stoicism and Marcus Aurelius for free, Click Here.
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